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Sunday, July 31, 2011

Is Your Marriage in Crisis - How to Keep Hope Alive in Desperate Times

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Is your marriage in crisis? Has your spouse said that the two of you have no future? Don’t give up yet. Every marriage goes through rough spots. Some relationships are even strengthened by these times. Here’s how to keep hope alive even when your marriage is in trouble.

First of all, you should know that if even one partner has hope for the relationship, the marriage in crisis can be saved. Many frustrated spouses have been known to reconsider their impulse to leave. Remember that he or she also has much invested in the relationship and will have second thoughts about leaving.

Next, realize that when a marriage is in crisis, people say extreme things. Don’t take these comments personally. In some cases, your spouse will feel guilty about asking for a divorce. When this happens, he or she may cover up their feelings of guilt by acting out in an angry manner. If you take that anger personally, you are further harming a marriage in crisis.

How you react to the situation will have a profound impact on how the marriage in crisis is resolved. Don’t badger a spouse who asks for more emotional space. Use this space to sort out your own emotions. In other words, back off, regroup, and prepare for the tough work ahead. What ever you do, don’t give in to anxiety and demand immediate answers to difficult questions.
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Also, lower your expectations of your spouse during this time. Sometimes when a relationship is broken, a person becomes more critical of his or her spouse. If the housework isn’t perfect or someone gets home late from work, it’s not the end of the world. There are bigger issues to address right now.

You should allow yourself your own emotions as well. Don’t rush into decisions. Find some things which help to ground you. For instance, make sure that you work out regularly to keep your body balanced. Read, undertake individual therapy, or attend church to keep your mind and spirit in shape.

It is also a good time to expand your interests and activities. Many people who have a marriage in crisis focus in on their relationship like a laser beam. As you start enjoying your own life more, your spouse will become more interested in you.

Choose to remain positive. You can’t control what your spouse does, but you can control your reactions to him or her. When a marriage is in trouble, many people become insecure and depressed. These reactions only do a marriage in crisis more damage. Trust your ability to find a creative solution to your relationship difficulties.

Finally, you need to know that whatever the outcome, you did your best to resolve the issues at hand. Instead of playing the odds about whether the relationship will survive, do what you can to be helpful and loving to your spouse. That is how you rescue a marriage in crisis.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Help Save Marriage Why Pastoral Counseling is Superior to a Secular Therapist

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Help save marriage from the secular therapists who call themselves “Marriage and Family Counselors.” These professionals, who generally have a master’s degree in psychology have a misleading license. You would think from their titles that they are specialists to help save marriage, but when you find out what they are really trained in, you see that it is in individual therapy.

Look at the coursework required for a Marriage and Family Counselor’s License. They take classes like “individual assessment,” “group dynamics” and “multicultural counseling.” These courses are aimed at mental health challenges focusing on the individual. Marriage counseling courses, when offered, are an elective.

When they take that individual-orientation training and apply it to a married couple who says “help, save marriage,” the model fails. Often the first thing the therapist will do is send the parties to individual counseling to deal with their personal mental health issues.

This can often drive a feuding couple further apart. As separate counselors reinforce individual needs and desires over the joint needs of the relationship, the marriage disintegrates further.

So, what can you do if you want to save your marriage? You know you need professional intervention to help you communicate better and work through existing relationship problems.
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Perhaps the best person to help you is your pastor. Clergy have a vested interest in preserving marriage as a sacrament. While many ministers will advise someone in an abusive situation to get out, their initial reaction is to help save marriage in general and yours in particular.

Pastoral counseling integrates psychological theory and biblical principles. The emotional and spiritual journey is seen as intertwined.

If you attend a church or place of worship regularly, you can contact the office and ask for an appointment for pastoral counseling to help save marriage.

If you don’t attend a church already, you can look for pastoral counseling at a local church. Churches tend to have an outreach to the community mission and most are open to providing services to all who ask.

Large churches, especially the so-called “megachurches” will have a special pastoral counseling staff. However, if you choose a smaller church, you will probably get attention from a senior pastor.

In either case, when you really want to help save marriage, turn to pastoral counseling rather than secular marriage counseling.

Traditional individually oriented therapy, when turned to marriage counseling, focuses on “communication skills” and “problem solving strategies.” Tackling marriage problems this way can actually stress the partners out more.

Biblically based counseling, on the other hand, can help you solve your problems in the way God intended.

If you are saying, “help, save marriage,” contact a pastor to get the real kind of marriage counseling you need.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Women on Dating What Makes for a Perfect Guy

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Men spend a lot of time trying to figure out what women want. Often, women won’t come right out and tell you what she needs. Instead, she sends out coy signals which she expects you to interpret. So, here I’m going to be straight with you. This is women on dating – what makes for a perfect boyfriend?

When talking to each other, women on dating say that it is important for a boyfriend to stick up for her. While she doesn’t want to be smothered, a woman does like to be slightly protected. One way you demonstrate this is to stick up for her when someone challenges her.

Another thing women on dating talk about is whether a guy knows how to cheer her up. Women are moody (you already knew that) and often fall into funks. A man who knows how to return a woman to the sunny disposition that she wants to project is a godsend.

When talking about the men in their lives, women say that they like their guys to be affectionate in public. This doesn’t mean pawing at them. But, giving her a hug when you meet, holding her hand, and slipping your arm around her shoulders when she is with her friends are all physical signs that she belongs to you.

One thing most women say they wish their boyfriends did more of is dance. Many women are quite uninhibited on the dance floor and they want their guys to share this passion. Unfortunately, many men shy away from this pursuit because they feel like they have two left feet. But your girlfriend doesn’t care that you are not the smoothest man on the floor. What she cares about is that you are out there with her.
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Dancing is a great way to get a woman primed to go to bed with you as well. When you demonstrate your moves on the floor, she is likely to welcome you into her bedroom.

Another thing, say women on dating, is that you should call more often. Call her for no reason. Call to say “I miss you.” Call and let her chat. Your picking up the phone lets her know that you think about her even when she isn’t around.

To that end, be the one who says “I love you.” Women are often willing to say it earlier in the relationship than men are. Also, when guys love a woman, they express it with actions. Some bring women gifts. Others are affectionate. But a woman needs to hear those three little words.

Another thing women on dating say is that they like it when you are nice to your mom and female relatives. Even if they are not looking at marriage or a long term relationship, women like to know that you would be a good husband.

Finally, one of the things you can do to really capture a woman’s heart is to – occasionally – watch a chick flick. She probably watches football with you from time to time. You can reciprocate by watching a romantic comedy with her. Know that doing this a couple of times a year is sufficient. That’s four hours out of your life. She’s worth it.

So that is what women on dating say they want.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

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How to Make International Dating Services Work for You

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Are you interested in expanding your dating pool and considering joining an international dating service? They are becoming increasingly popular, especially with Americans who are too busy to find time to date a lot or with people who are interested in having a relationship with different values than most people in the United States have. Many men really do prefer the type of marriage wherein there are more traditional roles, and that can often be difficult to find in our modern society. There is certainly nothing wrong with using any means available to help you find true happiness, so here are some ways to make international dating services work for you.

First, check out the site well. Like every other thing available online, the potential for fraud exists, so make sure you deal with a reputable service. That is the most important thing to remember when learning how to make international dating services work for you.

Second, make sure the website has clearly worded and understandable policies. When dealing with international agencies, English can be an issue, and some mistakes are not necessarily a sign to run and hide, but the most reputable sites will have few grammar errors because they have hired professional translators. If you can’t truly understand what the terms and policies are, look for a different site.
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Third, don’t be afraid to be particular. The whole reason you are looking at an international service is probably so you can find exactly what you want most in a person. Don’t feel that you have to like the first person you look at. If you want to know how to make international dating services work for you, you should remember to be picky.

Fourth, make sure you will be able to communicate with the other party well. That means that the service needs to provide translation services or insist that their members speak English. Of course, if you speak the language of the person you are interested in, so much the better.

The fifth and final thing to think about when considering how to make international dating services work for you is to be sure of everything that is included in the price of membership and what costs extra. Some sites realize the necessity of translation services or photos, for example, and provide those as part of the package price. Others know you need them so they decide to charge extra.

When and if you decide to look outside the United States for a potential spouse, it is important to remember this advice on how to make international dating services work for you. Then you can be more confident in your choices and are more likely to have success in your search for true love and true compatibility that results in a life-long, loving relationship that fulfills our greatest earthly desires.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

How Great Expectations Dating Can Set You Up For Failure

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

How long have you had great expectations, dating only people you thought would be perfect for you? That’s a major reason why so many people think of dating a new person as something to dread. Dating really can be fun again if you’ll let go of a few outdated ideas. Try to change your perspective, and you might be pleasantly surprised.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t go on a date with some great expectations. Dating wouldn’t be much fun if you prepared yourself for disappointment every time you went on a date. But the type of expectations you have needs to change. Then you’ll start to enjoy dating again, and it’ll be even easier for you to find that special someone.

First, if you go on every date looking for a spouse, stop thinking that way now. Even if you’re just looking for a steady girlfriend or boyfriend, you should rethink it. You might very well find the perfect person by dating. But going on dates with that expectation can certainly ruin the fun.

When you go out with someone with that kind of great expectation, dating becomes a process. It goes from a fun time with someone you enjoy spending time with, to some kind of try out for a mate. Even if you don’t say as much, the pressure is there under the surface. And that unspoken tension can ruin any date.

Imagine if someone asked you out with that great expectation? Dating them would make you feel like a bug under glass, wouldn’t it? You might be flattered at first, thinking they thought you might be marriage material. But soon enough you might feel uncomfortably scrutinized, and rightfully so.
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Thoughts of marriage shouldn’t really enter into dating until you’ve been seeing the same person a lot. Even then it might be too soon. Usually you move from dating to dating them exclusively, and then to a commitment long before thoughts of marriage enter into the picture. This is the best way to keep things fun, and keep your heart from being broken unnecessarily.

So now that you see it’s best not to even think about marriage or a serious relationship yet, you’ve freed yourself up to have fun dating again. Date someone because you like that person. He or she interests you, and seems like a fun person to spend time with. It doesn’t have to be a serious affair.

Ask your co-worker out to the movie you both want to see and just plan to have fun. Have great expectations, but only that you’ll have a great time, not that you’ll want to pop the question! If more comes of it, it’s a wonderful bonus. And you might find that with the pressure off, it’s actually easier for more to come of it.

Finally, if you find you’re on a date with someone who’s looking for marriage, don’t be discouraged. If you focus on your type of great expectations, dating can still be fun, and you might even get them to lighten up a little.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Use International Dating Services To Find Love

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Can you really find that special person with international dating services? You have as much a chance of finding a special soul mate through a service like that, as a local dating service. In fact, your chances are probably higher. That’s because you’re not limited to a small geographical area!

If you haven’t met a special person in your local area, a local dating service can help you find people with similar interests. But international dating services introduce you to singles around the world. This gives you a much wider selection to choose from. You’re no longer limited to those people you might see every day.

Whatever your reasons for using such a service, you need to be a little wary of those you meet. At least at first, you should really question the motives of some of the other members. Some of the people from poorer countries especially might not be looking for love. They might just be looking for a way out of their situation.

No one can fault them for that. But international dating services can’t really keep people out who want to join. They have no way of knowing if someone is looking for love or just a better life. Many people, however, are looking for both.
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Some people use international dating services solely to find a way out of their country or their bad situation. And some people use those services to find those very people and take advantage of them. So be aware if someone you just met showers you with flattery and claims of love, that they probably just want to be rescued. Don’t fall for those tactics, and don’t get someone else’s hopes up falsely.

A benefit of using an international service is that you tend to get to know another person better before you meet them. With local dating services, the trend is to meet online and then meet in person right away. When the person you’re talking to is across the world, that’s not possible.

With international friends, you must really get to know each other well online before either person feels it would be a good idea to meet. Because meeting is so much more complicated and expensive, you’ll only meet someone when you really feel they’re a good match for you. This saves a lot of time and can save some heartache, too.

If you meet people quickly with local dating services, it’s easy to be disappointed. You meet online and have a few things in common, so you might both be enthusiastic about meeting. It’s very easy to rush into meeting someone, partly because some people think that if you want to put off meeting them, there might be something wrong with you!

But with a person a thousand miles away or more, there’s no pressure at all. The online relationship can be allowed to grow naturally. You’ll discover early just how much you really have in common. Though a slower process, international dating services really can help you find that special person.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Consider Counseling To Help Save Marriage

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

If your relationship is in trouble, you might want to consider counseling to help save marriage. Your marriage is the central point in your life. All of your other relationships – with children, with family, and with friends – revolve around the marriage axis. Therefore, there is a need to help save marriage.

How do you know if marriage counseling is right for you? If you have any of these problems, you might want to consider counseling to help save your marriage:

· Infidelity
· Communication
· Conflict
· Work-Life Balance
· Problems with Children
· Blended Family Issues
· Family Violence
· Substance Abuse

A family counselor or therapist will be able to help you to enhance your family relationship by helping you to explore effective communication techniques, conflict resolution solutions, and other kinds of “coping skills” that will make your family work better. A therapist can also help you work on resolving deep issues that have carried over from childhood traumas.

So, how to you choose a family therapist? Well, you should know that you don’t have to pick the first one you call. It is perfectly acceptable to interview three to five counselors before deciding which therapist will work best for you and your spouse.
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Some of the questions you might want to ask include:

· Have you worked with couples experiencing the difficulties we’re having?
· What should I expect from counseling?
· What are your treatment methods?
· What are your prices?

You can find the names of therapists by asking for referrals from friends or family members who have tried counseling themselves. There are also referral services set up by non-profit boards who can give you the name or names of licensed professionals.

If you do not get a satisfactory number of referrals, you might want to check out therapist’s sites on the internet. When the yellow pages was the only source of advertising for therapists, the consumer would get little more than a name and a phone number. But now, a counselor’s site can include a resume, articles he or she has written, and a description of their practice. You will be able to get an idea of how a therapist will work from his or her web site.

You do want to make sure that the therapist you choose is licensed. Some therapists have what is known as a MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist License) which can only be obtained after a therapist completes both a master’s degree in Psychology and 1500 hours of internship work under another licensed therapist. Other acceptable licenses include the LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), Ph.D or Psy.D. (Psychologist with a doctorate degree) and M.D. (Psychiatrist.)

You want to choose a licensed professional because there are educational, internship, and practice standards that must be maintained to retain the license. “Relationship coaches” and others with similar names do not have similar obligations.

Different counselors have different payment options. Some offer sliding scale fees while others are able to take insurance.

Dating Tips For Christian Singles

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

As Christians, we are used to being different from those around us. We make different choices about how we spend the Sabbath, and how we prioritize our time. So it's no surprise that when it comes to Christian singles dating, our choices are different as well.

Since what a Christian is looking for in a dating relationship is usually different from what others are looking for, it can be difficult to find partners. The first challenge in Christian singles dating is finding the right person to date. There are some tips that can help.

Look at church for other singles. Ask around your congregation, and look in the area for other congregations that you could visit. Some may have single-specific activities you could attend.

This certainly doesn't mean you give up your own church, but you need to put yourself in places where you can get acquainted with others that share your beliefs. As one pastor said, you can't marry someone you never meet. So Christian singles dating is made easier if you attend events with other single Christians.

Another good way to meet others is to get involved in service. There are lots of organizations that serve. Some are connected to churches, but others are community organizations. You'll likely find others who share your values and are interested in Christian singles dating.
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If the people you meet aren't single, they will likely have a Christian friend or relative who is also single. Networking is the way to get to know people. It works for dating as well as business.

Going online is another great way to meet other Christians. Using an online dating or personal ad service is a quick way to meet other single Christians. There are sites specifically set up for Christians that are easy to use.

When dating Christians, it's important to let them know the kind of relationship you are seeking. Many single Christians want to find a life marriage partner. If you are not interested in that kind of relationship, it's best to say so upfront. It will save hurt feelings later.

Dating is the place to practice good relationship skills. It's important to look for the best in a partner. Learn to compliment sincerely and overlook minor difficulties.

However, dating is also the time to discover exactly what you want in a partner. You may discover your partner has different values and commitments. It is good to identify those during the dating process and decide if they are differences you want to live with long term.

Christians should set limits on physical contact. If you set limits up front, then you'll find you don't have the physical desires cloud your emotions and lead you to poor decisions you'll both regret.

Simple rules include staying out of bedrooms and always dating in public places where lots of other people are around.

Prayer and meditation are also important aspects to Christian singles dating. Ask about this person and ask if the relationship is on track so you can make great decisions about dating and life.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

The Best Way To Save Marriage Embrace Conflict

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

In many states, all a husband or wife has to do to end the relationship is state to the court that there are “irreconcilable differences” and the court will grant the divorce. But, in any marriage, there should be irreconcilable differences. The best way to save marriage is to embrace the conflict that is inherent in a close partnership between two people.

We often think of divorcing couples as the ones who screamed at each other all of the time. But if these couples can communicate their needs through elevated voices, they are actually doing better than the couple that avoids all conflict at the cost of expressing their needs and beliefs.

It is these silent couples who need to save marriage through embracing conflict.

While no one is suggesting that emotional and verbal abuse is a good thing for a relationship, couples who don’t acknowledge that there are problems and differences are actually more likely to split up according to Dr. John Gottman, a researcher who runs the Love Lab.
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So, if you want to save a marriage, you need to learn how to communicate and express your differences. Here are some tips for communication in marriage:

· Allow enough time for proper communication. If you are not spending enough time together to air your differences and share your strengths, you will find your relationship is in trouble. Work on building couple’s time back into your life. For instance, make a point of eating dinner together several times a week or going out on a date very week.

· Really listen when your partner speaks. It is amazing how much we tune out our partners. He or she may be telling you what you need to know. But, if you are not listening, it is all in vain.

· Find out why your partner is annoyed. When your husband or wife is being particularly grumpy, find out what is really going on. Sometimes, it may be that you have done something that has annoyed them. Other times, it may be that something completely unrelated has occurred. But you won’t know unless you ask.

· Get inside his or her world. As couples begin to drift apart, they start to live in separate worlds. When you make an attempt to get inside his or her world, you may just save the marriage.

· Stop judging. Express what needs you have and listen to your spouse’s needs. But, don’t be quick to judge or criticize.

· Be honest. One of the biggest problems for people who don’t like conflict is that they can’t be honest about what they want and need. When you start to express honest opinions about things, you will begin to save marriage.

Marriage is hard work. But, if it is worth it to you to save marriage, you will do the work. That means more communication, and yes, more conflict.

Meet People With Christian Personal Ads

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

For Christians looking to find companionship, a dating partner, or a lifelong spouse, the searching can be difficult. It is hard to find people who share your Christian beliefs. This is where a Christian personal can help.

Christian personals are advertisements written by Christians indicating that they are interested in some kind of a relationship. The ad will usually describe the type of relationship a person is interested in. It tells as much about a person as possible in a few words.

While personal ads are typically found in a newspaper, those for Christians are usually online. Generally, there are not large, concentrated communities of Christians in one area, so newspapers don?t work for that purpose. Websites can bring Christians together from all over an area.

The ads are generally fairly short. What you choose to say in an ad tells what you value most, so in composing Christian personals, think about what is most important to you in a partner. Those who also value those things will be drawn to your ad.

Using Christian personals is an easy process. It can also be quite rewarding as you discover that there are many others who share your love of the Lord. It's great to find that you can have a social life with others who share your values.
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Many online sites operate similarly. On most, you can post a personal ad for free. You can also search other ads for free. It is generally a simple process of clicking on a link and typing your ad, then pressing "submit" to get yourself online.

Some sites will also allow you to post a photo of yourself. This can be a good addition to a personal ad. Some people like to have an idea in their mind of whom they are contacting. It can be disconcerting to commit to a date with someone when you can't connect a face to his or her name.

Many sites have a masking program on their contacting connections. When someone responds to your personal ad, they don't know your email address. In most cases, if you reply to their contact, then they get your email address.

You should read the terms of use at each site before you decide whether or not you want to join that site. Each site has different numbers of members and different requirements and costs. It's best to know what to expect before you post an ad.

When you decide to become a member of a site, you are able to respond to other people's ads. You can often get email updates about new ads on the site, and you will be able to see those who have responded to your ad.

It can be a challenge for a Christian single to find appropriate social contacts. It's not necessary to lower your standards just to get a date. By using Christian personals, you can find others with the same beliefs to date and possibly develop a long-term relationship.

Tags: Christian Personals

Friday, July 22, 2011

Relationships - Break Up To Make Up

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

This is your guide: Relationships – Break Up to Make Up. The break up may be just the first stage in getting back together with an ex.

If you had been dating for any length of time, you and your ex had a lot invested in the relationship. You obviously loved and cared for each other. But something went wrong and one of you decided to call it quits. How you handle the relationship break up may have a lot to do with whether you can ever make up.

If you are the one initiating the break up, try to do it with love and compassion. Whether you are truly calling it quits or just wanting a time out, remember that this is a person who has been important to you and you have a responsibility to take his or her feelings into account.

It’s generally best to tell the person that you want to break up in a public place. That’s because people are less likely to embarrass themselves if others are around. Also, don’t draw the break up out. Just say your piece and leave.

Once you have broken up, leave the channels of communication open. Be there for your ex when he or she needs you.

Don’t play games with your ex. Some people suggest dating their best friend or flaunting a new date on your ex, but consider that if you ever make up, these things are going to haunt your new relationship.
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If you have found that you want to get back together with your ex, consider the following:

· Tell them that you are interested
· Be interesting yourself – take up new activities and make new friends
· Try a new look – whether it is a new hair style or simply updating your grooming, your ex will notice.

Suggest that you meet your ex for lunch or some other non-romantic activity. During this time, you can bring up the positive memories you shared. You can also emphasize any changes you have made in your life.

If your ex gives you any indication that he or she is willing to give it a second try, don’t assume that you can start right back where you left off. Woo your boyfriend or girlfriend. Go out on romantic dates. Start by holding hands, not jumping into the sack.

Also, give your relationship time to heal from the break up. Don’t assume that your ex’s feelings weren’t hurt by the cooling off period.

Continue improving yourself. Don’t fall into bad habits just because you’ve got your ex back. Constantly strive to be the best boyfriend or girlfriend you can be.

That’s your guide to Relationships – Break up to Make up.

Find Your Perfect Match With Christian Online Dating

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Any Christian in the singles world knows that it can be very difficult to find other Christians to date. Thousands of single Christians are turning to Christian Online Dating to help in the process.

The stereotypical way to meet other singles to date is to go to a bar. However, many Christians don't want to visit bars. They're often not interested in the kinds of people they'd meet at a bar. Christian online dating helps them bypass the wilder singles scene and find people compatible with their lifestyle.

If you live in a large city, there are so many people around, that it is difficult to find out enough about them before asking them out. It is not always obvious who values their Christian faith. In these cases, the online option can help you find people within your city who want to date other Christians.

In smaller cities, rural or suburban areas, it may be even more difficult to find potential partners. Singles in these areas depend even more on Christian online dating to find other singles following the Christian path. There are more and more using these online services.

The greatest benefit for those who use Christian online dating services is that the singles know immediately that they have shared values. It is possible to look at profiles of potential dates and see what their commitment level is. People can screen for denomination, desire for service, tithing habits, etc. to find those truly compatible.
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This kind of online matching give Christian singles a great way to expand their social circles. They often offer opportunities for spiritual growth as well. Those who are registered on sites can join Bible discussion groups, for example.

Not only are these a great way to add to their scriptural knowledge, but they are also a great way to get to know other singles. Reading interactions in a chat room can be like having an initial conversation. You see what things are important, how the person interacts with others, and if they share your beliefs and understandings.

There are services that cater to specific denominations. For some Christians, finding a dating or socializing partner of the same faith is important. For these people, the denomination specific sites are a great idea.

It's important to choose the right service; one that has compatible values. Examine the terms of use, also. See what they require upfront, and how many Christians from your local area use the service. Most services offer a free trial period, so you can find out how many others from the area are involved before you join officially.

The prices for such services are generally modest. A month's membership will cost about what a night out costs. For many, the much-simplified process of finding Christians with whom they can socialize offsets the cost of the services.

If you want to find Christians to date, but have trouble knowing where to look, Christian online dating may be the answer for you.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I Miss My Ex Boyfriend

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

After you break up with a guy, there is a period of loneliness. Not only are you missing the time that you spent with him, but there is also a piece of your heart that walked out the door when he did. If you are saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” here are some ways to get past the feeling.

There are two steps to getting over an ex. The first is to bring closure to the relationship and the second is to start on the next phase of your life.

Closure is the psychological term for ending a phase of one’s life. There are many things you can do to stop saying “I miss my ex boyfriend.”

First of all, you should determine that he doesn’t want you back. As long as you think that there is a chance you can get back together, you will not begin to heal.

To that end, exchange all of the physical possessions you have. Don’t keep his toothbrush in your bathroom or hold on to his leather jacket. If you have left clothes or other possessions at his house, pick them up.

If either of you owes the other money, pay it back as soon as possible.

Don’t contact him and don’t let him contact you. Perhaps you can be friends in the future, but right now, you need time to separate your emotional lives. If you give in and answer his phone calls, emails, or texts, you are just letting a wound fester.
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If you find yourself saying “I miss my ex boyfriend,” sit down and write about it. Write a letter to him sharing your feelings about the relationship and the break up. But don’t send it to him. Throw it away, or even better, burn it. This will help you bring closure to the relationship.

After you’ve gotten over the initial hurt of the break up, start putting yourself out there again. It might feel awkward at first, but you are going to have to face life as a single person sometime. The sooner you get back on the scene, the sooner you will meet someone new.

If your ex took up a big part of your life, you will want to find new past times. This may mean reconnecting with your girlfriends. Or, it may mean going out and finding new friends.

One of the best ways to fill the space an old boyfriend took up is to start something new. Join a class or a co-ed sports team. See if your local book store has a monthly book club. Start going to church again.

While it may be hard to get started on the social scene again, you will find that you miss your ex boyfriend much less when you are engaged in activities you enjoy.

When you have the opportunity to, start dating again. Even if the first guy isn’t someone you can see spending the rest of your life with, accept his invitation to dinner or the movies. As you get back into the routine of dating, you will be able to find a man who can appreciate and love you.

Whenever you hear yourself thinking “I miss my ex boyfriend,” do something that either brings closure to the relationship or propels you to move forward in your life.