Your Pastor Can Save Marriage

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Who can save marriage? Most modern people think about going to a marriage counselor when they are having family difficulties. These licensed professionals have specialties in “Marriage and Family Therapy” right? Unfortunately, they may not be the best people to help you. In fact, your pastor can save marriage better.

There was a time back in the 1950s where the board of psychologists considered it unethical to do couple’s counseling. The role of the therapist was to work with an individual and working with two individuals on the same set of issues would be a conflict of interest. They didn’t think they can save marriage or that it was their role to.

In the 1960s, this view began to change and then in the late 1960s when master’s level therapists began to emerge, the specialty of marriage counseling with a licensed therapist developed. But, these people were still trained primarily in individual therapy. In fact, in some master’s in “Marriage and Family Counseling” marriage therapy is only an elective class not a required one! Most of the classes are in individual or group therapy around cognitive behavioral changes.

Today’s ethic of therapist is to work on the individual. Therefore, a common course of “marriage counseling” is to say that the parties have individual problems and send them both off to separate individual therapy. In 85 percent of cases where marriage counseling with a licensed professional is tried, the couple ends up in divorce court.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

Free Registration  Click Match.com --- Date.com --- FriendFinder --- Web Site Based on Religions & Races --- Russian Dating ( Anastasia --- Elena's Models --- Helen International )

Compare that to what happens in pastoral counseling. The pastor is committed to the preservation of the marriage not the immediate happiness of either individual. The pastor is working from the assumption that marriage is a holy institution.

While most clergy will advise couples to split up if there is alcoholism, abuse, or serial adultery going on, they think that most problems can be worked out.

They will also provide the support of a larger church community to help with difficulties in the marriage. For instance, if finances are at the heart of the problems, they may have contacts or resources to assist. If childcare stresses are an issue, they may be able to provide a sitter once a week so the couple can get some alone time. These resources are all available to the pastor within a church community.

A pastor can save marriage because he’s committed to it as an institution. He believes that God has ordained it as a way for society to operate.

When you are having marital problems, don’t overlook your pastor as a source for counseling. And, don’t automatically turn to the “professionals” who, by their titles, would seem best equipped to help you.

There’s no way a pastor can save marriage. But he is likely to see the challenges in a particular marriage as an opportunity for growth within a Biblical context.

Healing Yourself and Your Relationship Self Help Tips

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Relationships are supposed to be able to bring out the best in us but many times it is the root for needing self help advice. Most self esteem issues are directly tied to relationships we are in. It doesn't matter if you are dating or in a marriage or just in love, it can either make us feel better or worse about ourselves. We strive to find the one who will love us and make us feel like we are on top of the world, unfortunately that doesn't always happen.

One thing that many will try to do is find out if the reason for your difficulties in your relationships is because of the problems between the two of you or is it because of problems that originated early on in either your life or the other persons life. It can be exhausting trying to find the original root of the matter but one thing is obvious, you have problems now.

The best thing to do is to try and fix the relationship that you are in now so that you and your spouse or partner can help overcome each other challenges. You may be interested in reading self help books and utilize different self help techniques. If your relationship is strong, though, there will be no more need to concentrate on healing yourself because you will have a partner to help you overcome. First, though, you need to work on building the relationship. Seek out some good marriage counselors or others who can give good relationship advice.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

One thing that is going to help is to never allow yourself to be criticized, or at least don't internalize it. Also make sure you don't criticize the one you love. There is no such thing as constructive criticism. There is nothing constructive about it. All it does is make one feel less powerful than the other and it is used to manipulate much in the same way an abuser does. A relationship is not a power struggle and it is not a war.
Quit treating it like that and there won't be any fights to win or lose.

There are some more things that you can do to help your relationship. Where you are separated by beliefs, try talking it out and instead of pointing out where each other is wrong or where their weaknesses are try to find common ground. Take time to discuss what each other's roles are in the relationship. Also discuss what you expect of the other. Let your partner know what hurts but also let them know what it is you want or need them to do and try to offer the same to them.

Whether you are dating or involved in a marriage there are many things that you can do to help better the situation. Once the two of you have worked to repair the relationship and put away any talks of divorce, separation, or just breaking up, the two of you can work together to make each other better people. Your relationship will help you help yourself image and will help you overcome all those things that hold you back.

Does Conflict Affect Men More Relationship Psychology

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here


In trying to overcome conflicts in a relationship, psychology may help us understand why men and women react differently. If you are dating or in a marriage, there are going to be arguments from time to time. What can make things worse is if the two people's ways of dealing with conflict cause them to make things worse. Many marriages have turned to marriage counselors and those who aren't married will still seek out relationship advice. Most counseling will help you realize some things that may help each understand how the other party thinks.


There was a study funded by the National Institute of Mental Health which showed that most couples who had been together for only a couple of months between the ages of 18 and 21 avoidedintimacy and being dependent on their other half. They also showed levels of anxiety concerning being rejected or abandoned. Those tested all exhibited different degrees of the anxiety over being abandoned. Of course those who were more secure in themselves had lower levels and others, depending on how they dealt with anxiety and thought about abandonment, reacted differently as well.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

What was interesting in the testing was how differently the results were in both men and women. The ones researching relationship psychology using these subjects found that in their physiological reaction to relationship conflict, the reaction in men was more easily noticeable. Most of the reaction was increased anxiety for the majority of men while only those women who are the more avoidant types showed any real changes.


Women are more likely to want to guide a conversation in trying to resolve conflict in a relationship. Psychology shows them to be, in this situation, the ones actively working to get the situation resolved. While they were showing increased levels of cortisol before and during the confrontation, the levels dropped significantly. They showed that getting the conflict over quickly was more physiologically satisfying.


Men, however, showed to be more passive in conflict resolution. While there was evidence that they, too, wanted the conflict to be resolved they weren't anxious to confront the conflict head on. Those men who had female partners who were more secure showed lower levels of anxiety. Women showed no change in their levels of anxiety whether their male counterpart was secure or not.


When you seek out relationship advice, whether you go to family therapy or psychologists, they are going to try to help you understand how men and women react differently. The above research on studying the effects of conflict in men and women will help you know why the react the way that they do in the relationship. Psychology and physiological research will help you deal with conflict better.

Relationship Rescue Work To Save Your Relationship

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

If you are wanting to keep a marriage or relationship afloat and aren't willing to give up on it then you may need some relationship rescue. There are many books about it and lots of advice given from friends and counselors. There are marriage therapists to go to for counseling but most everyone will end up saying the same things and will not give you sound advice to take action on.

The best things that you can do in any relationship rescue is to aim at being honest and accept one another. Doing both of these may be difficult if you aren't willing to accept the fact that much of the blame in the difficulties of the relationship is shared. Own up to your own flaws and accept that there may be some truth to the complaints that your significant other has of you. If you want the other party in your relationship to change things you must realize there are probably things that you need to change as well. If you want them to keep an open mind about things that you wish for them to work on then you must do the same.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

True love will require compromise many times. You must be able to bend your will and give up some things to make the relationship work. If there is going to be a relationship rescue taking place. Both parties need to take a hard look at themselves and see what things they need to give up and work on to be more compatible.

The largest part of any relationship rescue is to change your perspective. For many people perception is a reality, but it may be a false reality. Something may seem like the worst situation in the world but then, after a change in perspective, it may not seem all that bad at all. People have a way of blowing things out of proportion. In relationships this is especially true. Quite a bit of marriage counseling deals with this bit of relationship management. Look closely at the situations from different angles. Your spouse/partner may seem like they work too much but could it be worse? Yes, they could be hopelessly unemployed and struggling to find work or, worse yet, a bum. Also ask why certain things are being done instead of jumping to conclusions.

Talk through things and when things are settled, drop them and move on. Much of the problems that relationships face is due to the fact that there is someone in the relationship, or maybe both in the relationship, who hold on to grudges. Don't let that happen. If there were things that happened in the past that have been dealt with, then let them go. When you do have discussions or arguments don't bring up the past. Deal with the present. Don't don't fight battles more than once.

If you are truly willing to see your relationships rescue, these ideas will help you and the one you love breath new life into your relationship

With A Strong Relationship Depression Can Be Beat

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

The only thing worse than going through depression is being in a relationship with someone who is showing signs of relationship depression. It is difficult to watch  them go through this dark period of life. Many relationships end because of it because there doesn't seem to be any end to it and it begins to wear on both people in the relationship.


Depression makes people think irrationally and causes them to be blind to the good things in life, like you. They will make you feel like everything you do to try and make their world a little better is a wasted effort. It isn't, though.


The fact that you are there beside them means more to them than you will ever realize. They wouldn't blame you for leaving and will sometimes try and make the decision easier for you. They don't really want you to leave, though. They want you to be with them and help if you can.


The first thing that you can do to help them deal with their depression is to understand it. Educate yourself about this mental disorder. Seek out to find what causes it. It could be because they lost a job or did something that brought on a feeling of failure. There are many reasons that it could have started but one thing is certain, even if you are in a strong relationship, depression, once it has begun can snowball.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

You will need to make sure that you take care of yourself in this relationship. Depression, gone unchecked, can be contagious. When you are learning about depression make sure that you are watching for signs that you may be exhibiting. If you are then you should be quick in seeking help from psychologists or counselors. Once both of you start falling into depression it may be impossible for either of you to see the light of day.
When you start getting worn down because of the weight of it all try and take some time to step back away from it and take care


A past relationship and depression sometimes go hand in hand. When a relationship has failed it is easy to feel like every relationship after that is doomed to fail. Once someone begins feeling that way they will many times turn their current relationships in to a failed one. If this has begun to happen it is important to get relationship advice from marriage counselors and work with them to prevent it. This is not the only reason that marriages or dating relationships fail while one is in depression. Just the strain will cause it to suffer. Seek relationship advice from trained professionals as much as possible.


Above all, do not give up. Believe that you can help them overcome their depression and believe that the effort you are making matters. There are few things more powerful than what can come from a strong relationship. Depression is a tough foe but it can be beaten when the one you love has you to depend on. With a strong relationship depression can be beat.

He Dumped Me How Will I Ever Survive

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here


If you are saying "he dumped me. How will I ever survive?" mere words in an article will not give you comfort. It may help to know that while you’ve broken up, you are not a broken person.


When you’ve been in the position that "he dumped me," you have two fears. The first is that you will never recover from the pain. The second is that no one will ever love you again.


Take heart, dear. The fear is real. The pain is real. But, the situation exists in your head, not in the real world. While one part of your life may be over, your life is not over.


You still have friends and family who care about you. In fact, you now have more time to spend with them. Many times, when you get into an involved romantic relationship, we lose touch with the other people who bring meaning to your life. You now have a chance to reconnect with them.


In fact, sharing your loss with them may encourage them to share their break up experiences with you. When you say, "he dumped me," that allows them to be vulnerable about how they've been hurt. You will begin to see that your pain is not unique. You will also be able to see that other people have lived full and complete lives after a break up.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

In addition to having more time for others who you care about, you will have more time to work on the issues in your life. Many times, when you are in a relationship, the activities you care about get pushed aside if your boyfriend isn't interested in them. This is a good time to get re-involved in the things that matter to you.


If no particular activity comes to mind, then maybe you need to get a hobby! No, really, when you say "he dumped me," what you tell yourself is that you are worthless. When you take up a new activity and invest in yourself, you prove to yourself that you matter.


There are all kinds of activities you can get involved with. The best thing to do is to join a group, class, or workshop. For instance, joining a hiking club will let you meet lots of people who enjoy the great outdoors. A ballroom dancing class will introduce you to people who enjoy the finer things in life. A writer’s workshop will be filled with creative types.


As you begin to re-engage with the world, you will lose the sense of desperation you felt when he dumped you. You will make new friends who share a common interest. And, you may even meet someone special to spend your time with.


The truth is that you will find someone to date again. Your soul mate is out there.


Your ex may have done you a favor by breaking up with you because now you have a chance to find someone who fits you better.


And, always remember, the best revenge when "he dumped me" is moving on!

 

Want Ex Back – Changing What Went Bad to Get My Ex Back

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

You are home after a date with yet another guy. It didn’t go well. You find yourself saying I want ex back.
After a break up, you may move on to other people. But, when you constantly find yourself thinking you want ex back, are there things you can do to rekindle an old relationship?


There are, and in this article, I present you with five strategies for when you want ex back.


First, clear your energy from other people. Don’t invest time and energy in men who aren’t your ex. For your old relationship to start working again, you have to prepare your mind, body and soul for him. If you are flirting with another guy, dating other men, or even worse, sleeping around, you are not preparing the proper mindset for getting your ex back.


Next, keep your dignity. Don’t chase your ex, flooding him with hundreds of text messages, calling him at odd times of day, or stalking him. Also, you need to make him respect you and treat you well. Don’t be a doormat. You will only command your ex’s respect and love when you are yourself at your best. Hold your head high. You will increase your chances of getting back together with your ex if you do.


Third, make a list of the things you appreciate about your ex and spend some time dwelling on them. Sometimes, a bad break up ends with all kinds of accusations. Now that you have some breathing room, start to concentrate on his good points. This is a good thing to do when you want ex back.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

Next, when you get back together, try changing some of the circumstances. Go to new places and try new things. Take up a new hobby together. Meet new people. By changing the environment of your relationship, you have a better chance of making it work. Don’t fall into the same old patterns of your relationship. You may even want to tune your relationship down a notch. If you were living together, try having separate places for a while. If you were engaged, try just dating. Don’t try to force your relationship back into old patterns.


Finally, create a shared sense of destiny. While fate certainly plays a role in our lives, we are the ones who write our life script. Map out with your partner where you want to go. When you do this together, you create a mission with a place for both of you.


When you want ex back, you have to work with new scenarios. Follow the advice in this article if you want ex back.

How To Build Trust In A Relationship

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Building trust in a relationship can be very difficult depending on the circumstances. If one partner had an affair, then it may take several years to build trust in a relationship. It can be done and marriages survive affairs but it will take time. The person who had the affair will need to apologise to his/her partner and then be prepared for that person to learn to trust them again.


But trust is something that needs to be built up in every partnership. After all you are going to share your life with this other person so you need to know that they share the same values as you do. If you are trying to build mutual reliance there are several ways of doing this:


1) Make sure your words and actions match. If you say you are going to be home at a certain time, then make sure you are or else phone in advance to explain why. It is the little gestures that define who we are.


2) Always tell the truth no matter how painful. Lies destroy every type of relationship from friendships through to marriage. Telling the truth isn't always the easy option but it is the safest. If your partner knows that you always tell the truth, they will trust you much quicker. If they hear you telling lies to others, even those that you dismiss as being small or white lies, they will have less belief in you.


3)Do not keep secrets when in a relationship. Now I don't mean that you have to tell your new boyfriend or girlfriend your deepest secrets but as soon as the relationship looks like it is becoming serious, it is a good time to make sure that any relevant history is out in the open.


4) You need to have faith in your partner before expecting them to return that trust. If you have to text them morning and night wondering where they are and who they are with, they are likely to think you have something to hide.


5) Don't be unrealistic. All relationships have issues even those that have been happily married for 50 years. You need to accept that being part of a couple means that you take the good times and the bad. If you bolt at the first sign of trouble, your partner is never likely to trust you.


6) Finally rely on yourself to do the right thing. You must first know yourself and trust in your ability to make the right choices before you can trust anyone else. You have to know what your own goals and aspirations are in life before you can share a meaningful existence with someone else. Somebody with a defined sense of values is more likely to trust another person as they will quickly recognise these similar values.


All good relationships are built on a number of factors so learn how to build trust in a relationship now to increase your chance of success.

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

Things I ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me

Source : http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here

Okay, I’ll admit, I’ve been dumped. More than once. More than I’d like to admit, actually. And, while it hurt quite a bit each time, I have to say that I have grown from the experiences. So, here are some things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me.


Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #1: It takes two.


Often with the pain and heartbreak of a break up, it is easy to blame the other person for your misery. But the truth is that if the relationship was no longer working, you were part of the problem. Evaluate what went on so that you can apply the lessons to your next relationship.


Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #2: Give women their personal space.


Women like to cuddle and snuggle. They may seem to always be around. But they need their personal space too. Men have a tendency to be possessive. We want to keep tabs on where they’re going and what they’re doing there. If any woman has ever cheated on you, this instinct becomes stronger. But, trust is a key component in a relationship. When you invade her personal space, you send the message that you don’t trust your girlfriend. This can easily lead to the end of the relationship.


Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #3: You get stronger over time.


When you wake up in the morning and the hurt’s so real, you may believe that you will never get over the break up. But the truth is that not only does time heal all pain, but you will emerge from the break up a stronger person. As philosopher Frederick Nietzsche said, “that which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger.”

Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____

Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #4: It’s okay if it wasn’t meant to be.


Coming to accept that a relationship wasn’t meant to be is a key factor in healing. If you had started projecting your relationship into the future – considering marriage, thinking about children – and then the woman you were with broke everything off, consider it a blessing. It is better to end a relationship that wasn’t meant to be earlier rather than later.


Things I’ve Learned from Women Who ve Dumped Me #5: Good things don’t happen unless you make them happen.


Finally, the last lesson I want to share with you is that you can’t control what happened, but you can control to how you react to what happened. If you want good things to happen in the future, you have to make them happen.


That means getting back on the horse. Go out, meet new women. Have some fun. Eventually, you will find another relationship. And, if you have followed the advice in this article about things I’ve learned from women who ve dumped me, the relationship will be even better and stronger than the last one.

The Best Relationship Quotes I Know

source :  http://www.1articleaday.com/ permits to republish here.


I love reading relationship quotes and today I thought I would share a couple of my favorite ones with you. Where possible, proper credit has been given to the person who wrote or spoke the original quote. However in some cases that may not have been possible.


You know love funny quotes as I believe humour is a key ingredient in a great relationship. Some of the funny ones I like are:


"What can you say to a man who has just had sex? Anything you like as he is asleep".


Or for those male readers - "what is the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS?" "You can negotiate with a terrorist!"


Joking aside, this quote credited to Leo Buscaglia should be in all couple’s homes.


“Too often we under estimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around”.


As most of us know it is the little things in a relationship that can cause it to fail or blossom. It is easy to blame the other person in our relationship for our dissatisfaction but as Martha Washington said “I have learned from experience that a greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.”


Some relationship quotations are beautiful and sad at the same time. Such as the one from William Somerset Maugham (an English Writer) on unrequited love being "The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned."


While I don't think Colin Powell was talking about relationships when he said "None of us can change our yesterdays, but we can all change our tomorrows", it is one that we could all do with remembering. Too often we waste time and energy holding grudges against our partners for something they did in the past. It is too late to change it now so let it go once and for all. So long as it isn't a pattern of repeated behaviour it doesn't do anyone any good to remember it.


"Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much " Helen Keller. This lady was my idol when I was growing up. Despite being born blind and mute she achieved so much more than the rest of us often do. I believe that being part of a couple and then a family gives us the chance to be so much more. We need to appreciate the gifts we have. Our relationships would be a lot happier if we said thank you and I love you just a little more often.


As Mother Theresa is quoted as saying "There is more hunger for love and appreciation in the world today than for bread". Make sure your loved one knows how much you love and appreciate them today, to avoid a day when you wished you had listened to the relationship quotes.

 Ref : The Magic of Making Up --- Ex Back System --- Relationships --- Dating

_____